Jacob Barnes: A letter of appreciation to Scott Walker
Guest post from Jacob Barnes....an open letter to the governor, in appreciation of the helpful tools and in celebration of the upcoming memoir, Unintimidatedable: The Bully Who Couldn't Be Bullied.
Dear Governor Walker,
More than a year after your courageous stand against the tyranny of so
many, I have come to realize and appreciate the improvements you have
boldly brought to our state. At first, I didn't understand your reforms
because of union thug intimidation and the liberal media's bias covering
your actions in the State of Wisconsin. I apologize for protesting
against your valiant ideals. I'm so sorry I allowed Madison liberals to
coerce me into acting on their behalf, but I was poor and they paid
protestors well.
After I was inside their cartel, fear of big
labor bullying my family if I deviated from their communist agenda kept
me on a terrible, terrible path. Terror forced me to serve a dark
master, but now I see the error of my ways. I can never undo all those
times we heiled Hitler, burned American flags and saluted Lennon in our
secret meetings, but I can express my regret that I ever forsook your
high moral standards.
I was also blinded by my dependence on
government to provide a safety net while I struggle with a chronic,
disabling illness. I realize now that I can just pull myself up by my
bootstraps, acquiring the medication and care I need to get better
without any help whatsoever. I see now that corporations depend on you
for tax breaks, subsidies and liability reductions so they can have
enough money after profits to donate to your reelection. I thank God
that the millions of dollars they give to you go towards squashing those
Marxist laborers, keeping you out of prison by funding your criminal
defense fund and spreading your message of reforms all around the
country.
It wasn't until you presented a new way of measuring
jobs that I even began questioning the intense brain washing I endured
at the hands of labor cahoots, dirty hippies and feminist extremists.
When you said “We're just under 100,000” I KNEW it was working! It was
working and I knew if you could stand up to blue collar workers, so
could I! I would be 'Unintimidated' just like you!
Thank you
Scott Walker for the $2 tax break! Perhaps next year, after I've sold
everything I own and maxed out all the credit available to me, I will be
able to purchase the medications I need and get better. Then I'll have
enough taxable income to take advantage of that $2 tax break, if Big
Labor assassins allow me to live that long. Maybe someday I'll even
become a job creator! Imagine the tax breaks I could get then! Don't
worry Governor, I will give back. I will help you become President of
The United States!
I'm sorry I ever doubted you,
Jacob Barnes
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