20 March 2011
Dear Luna and Sitta,
Thank you for the speedy response! You are the best kittens, you really are. So thoughtful. I hope you don't take it personally that I lumped my concerns about your behavior together with my concerns about Scott Walker. After thinking about it for a while, I realized you might take that the wrong way, and I wanted to clear up that I by no means intended to imply that I associate you with Walker, or that my grievances with you are in any way comparable to my grievances with him, or that the consequences of your actions could ever cause the grand-scale damage that Walker's will cause for Wisconsin. I did not mean to imply that at all! I love you cats. I really do. And I think you know that, in your little cat hearts, in the same way that I think Scott Walker knows, in his own tiny heart, that he's doing the wrong thing. Because people who are doing the right thing don't have to lie so much. And they don't have to refuse to communicate with people with whom they disagree. And also they aren't publicly stealing from the poor to give to the rich, or trying as hard as they can to unlevel the playing field for children in public schools, or blaming public servants for all of society's problems, or trying to ruin the lives of cute little kittens and the people who love them.
So please don't take any of that personally, ok?! I know you cats would never, ever support Scott Walker or his plan to privatize every last sparkle in the eyes of Wisconsin's children. I'm a pretty open person, but everybody knows I would never have adopted conservative cats, just like I would never have moved, knowingly, into a red state. I just want you to know that I love you and respect you and think you are the world's cutest cats. I really do. And I am going to make it up to you very soon with extra treats and maybe, just out of guilt, I'll give you your morning food before I make my coffee tomorrow. You cute little kittens deserve it! (Just please don't make that whining sound, ok? Just once?)
P.S. I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that Scott Walker has still not replied. He's busy not replying to thousands of letters from thousands of people, and fundraising, and having a taxpayer-funded private chef pack his bag lunch, and whatnot. I'm sure we'll hear from him eventually. Should be an interesting (auto)reply, given the unautorepliability of our correspondence.
cc: Scott Walker