Dear Mr. Walker and Mr. Fitzgerald,
Wow. Look how far ahead we've sprung already! THANK YOU to the people of Wisconsin for proving to the world that your momentary victory in the legislature does not translate into a victory over the people. You cannot ignore us forever! You have, in fact, a moral and legal obligation to represent us. So let's start working together. I have a few ideas on how we could do this most effectively, while being respectful of our rights to speak freely and openly about our many political disagreements.
First, it would be helpful if I could get a schedule of all of your public speaking engagements, so I can join the other Walker stalkers and Fitzgeraldphobes to show my disdain for you publicly. I know you've been trying your best to avoid this by steering clear of Madison, entering and exiting the people's house through your secret (and, apparently, Republican only) tunnels, and attending events which you think only will be attended by millionaires and other people who support you (i.e. aspiring millionaires, their underlings, and the feeble-minded - by which I mean Tea Partiers). And you're doing a pretty good job avoiding that, actually. So I was really happy to see the warm reception Mr. Walker received at your northwoods fundraising hideout and then again at your Republican dinner in Howard. The shouts of "RECALL WALKER" and "SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" can be heard around the world. Our new slogan: "Where he goes, we go." This way we don't have to worry about your weasly habit of pretending your detractors are only Madison liberals and other ne'er-do-wells, and we can make sure everyone knows how universally hated the two of you are. So if you could send me your schedules (maybe on Sunday nights? so I could get the week planned out?), that would be great.
Second, I think another very effective way to work together would be if you could please stop breaking the law and defying the Constitution in abuse after abuse of power. For starters, as I've been saying all along, your attempts to take away our right to collective bargaining violate federal and international human rights law, which is a biggie. And then there's Mr. Walker's continued attempts to misuse and abuse his powers by forcing the police to illegally serve as his palace guards, an act which puts both parties in legal jeopardy. And don't even get me started on the lying and other ethics violations - I'm sure you remember talking about those in other letters I've sent you. But the email Mr. Fitzgerald sent today to the other Republican Senators really crossed the line. If you haven't read it yet, Mr. Walker, it went like this ( I copied and pasted the whole thing - you aren't going to believe what he says!):
Sen. Fitzgerald: Email re: Senate Democrat voting privileges in standing committees
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 3:52 PM
To: *Legislative Senate Republicans
Subject: Senate Democrat voting privileges in standing committees
With the return of the Senate Democrats this weekend, questions have arisen regarding Democrat members’ participation in Senate standing committee public hearings and executive sessions.
Please note that all 14 Democrat senators are still in contempt of the Senate. Therefore, when taking roll call votes on amendments and bills during executive sessions, Senate Democrats’ votes will not be reflected in the Records of Committee Proceedings or the Senate Journal. They are free to attend hearings, listen to testimony, debate legislation, introduce amendments, and cast votes to signal their support/opposition, but those votes will not count, and will not be recorded.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact my office.
Senate Majority Leader
13th Senate District
Obviously, I find this troubling since Mr. Fitzgerald is clearly in contempt himself, if not outright breaking the law, by refusing to allow elected officials the right to vote and threatening to keep them indefinitely from exercising their Senatorial duties. I imagine we'll be seeing his resignation soon over this abuse of power, but in the meantime, I think it would be really helpful if you could just make a public call for that, Mr. Walker. Can you do that? Because I think putting some political pressure on him would help a lot.
Also, since I live in Senator Mark Miller's district, I'm wondering if all this means I don't have to pay taxes anymore, on account of no longer being represented. Please let me know because I have some shopping to do tomorrow. It would be a real shame to go back to the old days of taxation without representation. Wars are waged over such things! Class and otherwise.
Finally, I think it would be extremely helpful for both me personally and all of the people of Wisconsin if you could help us distinguish between when you two are taking your orders directly from God and when you're just doing what the Tea Party billionaires tell you to do. Because it's getting kind of confusing on our end, and I would hate to get mad at the Lord for nothing, when my anger should rightfully be directed at the Koch brothers, or the Menardses, or that Home Depot guy or whatever. So maybe if you could start your speeches with "And then God said I should prohibit the Democrats from voting by forcing them to get id cards that I knew many of them would have difficulty obtaining" or "The Lord spoke to me, and said, Wisconsin will be much better off if we create a climate of hate and disrespect for teachers, seniors and children" or "I prayed on it, and God revealed that I should take the path toward corporate ownership of state resources." This would clear up so much.
Thanks for listening, and I look forward to working together on this! Let me know if you need anything from my end! I could be very helpful in editing or writing resignation letters and/or public apologies, and I'm also very good at organizing things, reading, and listening to others - all trouble areas for you, so I think this will be mutually beneficial!
Here's to working together until you resign or get impeached,
Heather DuBois Bourenane